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Wonko the Sane

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Wonko the Sane
Species: Human
Planet of Origin: Earth Mark II
Appearances: So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish; Quandary Phase
First appearance: {{{First}}}



"Hold stick near centre of its length. Moisten pointed end in mouth. Insert in tooth space, blunt end next to gum. Use gentle in-out motion."
—The toothpick instructions that annoyed Wonko[src]

John Watson, also known as Wonko the Sane was a marine biologist and scientist who lived in coastal California with his wife, Arcane Jill Watson. The pair lived in a curious place called 'The Outside of the Asylum'.

John calls himself 'Wonko' in order to remind himself that a scientist must be like a child in having no pre-assumed notions - 'Wonko' being a childhood nickname bestowed by his mother. Wonko added the epithet 'the Sane' to his name in order to reassure people of his sanity. That sanity was called into question frequently, not least because of Wonko's repeated insistence that he was visited by green-winged angels on scooters.[1]

The AsylumEdit

The Asylum was set up one day after Watson came across a set of detailed instructions on a set of toothpicks. Watson, distressed and fearing for the world's sanity, built 'The Asylum' to put it in and help it get better. The Asylum is a four-walled house turned inside out. That which one would be inclined to take as the door into the house opens into a lawn with benches and walking paths. This is the area that Watson calls Outside the Asylum. Thus, the inside of the asylum contains the entire world, save for that small area. Within that small 'outside' area, Watson has mounted the instructions for the toothpicks, in order to discourage himself and others from going back into the asylum, i.e. returning to the mad world.

Arthur and Fenchurch's visitEdit

Arthur Dent and Fenchurch pay Wonko a visit and learn that like both of them, he had also received a fishbowl from the dolphins (having been a marine biologist and close to them). He also claims to have seen angels with golden beards, green wings and Dr Scholl sandals, who drive little scooters, do a lot of coke and are very wonderful about a whole range of things. Arthur and Fenchurch discover the truth behind this after they have seen God's Last Message to His Creation.

AppearancesEdit

Wonko the Sane appeared in:

Behind the scenesEdit

Wonko the Sane is portrayed by Christian Slater in the radio series.

Notes and referencesEdit

  1. These angels were later revealed to be the guardians of God's Final Message to Creation.
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