Description in the Hitchhiker's GuideEdit

Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning " four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine--in a desperate attempt to save life itself--leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex, in the destruction of the planet Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison.

An ExampleEdit

Oh flundered gruntbuggly,Donallitude

Thy micturations are to me

As plurdled donally

On a lurgid bee

That mordiously hath bitled out

Its earted grabatiously

Into a rancid festering [drowned out by moaning and screaming]

Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles

Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts

And living glupules frart and slipulate

Like jowling meated liverslime

Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes

And hooptiously drangle me

With crinkly bindlewurdles,

Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon

See if I don't.

See AlsoEdit

Vogons

Paul Neil Milne Johnstone

http://vogonpoetry.ning.com