User:Lord Pietrzyk-Świątecki von Brandstätter
Hitchhiking our way Around the Internet...
[edit] NOTE: Trying to pronounce the above may cause permanent damage to the vocal cords!
For years, many have tried to identify his species. Thus far it has been narrowed down to Dandy, Twit or Fop, however there are still those people who speculate that he may be a truly good-natured human being who has simply been led astray by delusions of grandeur.
Needless to say, those people have not been admitted into polite society for many years now, and impolite society is starting to grow weary of them as well.
Currently, much to his displeasure, he lives in Chicago, far away from the dear Poland for which he occasionally gets disgusting bouts of homesickness. His name is supposedly His Grace Thomas Robert, Lord Pietrzyk-Świątecki von Brandstätter of Nowina and Brandt, or at least he claims it's that. He frequently points this out, shouting that everyone would think it true if it 'weren't for those damned commies,' as he puts it, whilst he throws an empty bottle of sherry at all those who he presumes would dare oppose his assertions.
He sustains himself primarily on tea and Red Bull. He has rarely been documented actually eating anything, however most amateur reports point to a penchant for baked goods, particularly croissants.
He started updating this site irregularly mostly as a means of procrastination, in which he is second only to the great Douglas Adams himself. Many have speculated that the site has been demising ever since he first created his account. They're probably right, but then stopping him would actually require communicating with him... and well... yes, thank you for your understanding...