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Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

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The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster
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The best place to get one, if you can afford it.
"After two of those babies, the dullest, most by-the-book Vogon will be up on the bar in stilettos, yodeling mountain shanties and swearing he's the king of the Gray Binding Fiefdoms of Saxaquine"
—The drink's effects[src]

The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is an alcoholic beverage invented by ex-President of the Universe Zaphod Beeblebrox, considered by the Guide to be the "Best Drink in Existence"[1]. Its effects are similar to having your brains smashed in by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.

Beeblebrox advised that you should "never drink more than two Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters unless you are a thirty ton mega elephant with bronchial pneumonia."[1] However Ford Prefect ignored this advice and consumed three Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters while at Milliways.[2]

Mixing InstructionsEdit

  • Take the juice from one bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit.
  • Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V — Oh, that Santraginean seawater! Oh, those Santraginean fish!
  • Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzene is lost).
  • Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
  • Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet and mystic.
  • Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.
  • Sprinkle Zamphuor.
  • Add an olive.
  • Drink... but... very carefully...

Notes and referencesEdit

  1. 1.0 1.1 From Episode 1 of the television series, spoken by the Guide voiced by Peter Jones.
  2. From chapter 16 of the Douglas Adams novel The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.
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