- "After two of those babies, the dullest, most by-the-book Vogon will be up on the bar in stilettos, yodeling mountain shanties and swearing he's the king of the Gray Binding Fiefdoms of Saxaquine"
- —On the drink's effects[src]
The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is an alcoholic beverage invented by ex-President of the Universe Zaphod Beeblebrox, considered by the Guide to be the "Best Drink in Existence". Its effects are similar to "having your brains smashed in by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick".
Beeblebrox advised that you should "never drink more than two Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters unless you are a thirty ton mega elephant with bronchial pneumonia". However, Ford Prefect ignored this advice and consumed three Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters while at Milliways.
- Take the juice from one bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit.
- Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V — Oh, that Santraginean seawater! Oh, those Santraginean fish!
- Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzene is lost).
- Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
- Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet and mystic.
- Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.
- Sprinkle Zamphuor.
- Add an olive.
- Drink... but... very carefully...
- Take 1/2 oz. juice from one bottle of Ole Smokey Tennessee Moonshine.
- Allow 1/2 oz. of Arcturan Bombay Gin to melt into the mixture.
- Over the back of a silver spoon pour 1/2 oz. of Creme de Menthe, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet and mystic.
- Pour into it one measure of tonic water from the seas of Schweppers — Oh, that Schweppers seawater! Oh, those Schwepperian fish!
- Add an olive. (and 1/4 tsp. of olive brine)
- Allow four small cubes of dry ice to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
- Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.( This is a chili pepper that has been steeping in vodka for a duration no shorter than time required for a Vogon to recite all 173 verses of the poem "O You, Who Rake the Back Hairs. Silently". Also add 3/4 tsp of marinated vodka)
- Sprinkle Zamphuor (Blue Gatorade Powder (this may be done from the start if one is coherent enough)).
- Drink... but... very carefully...***
** All of these ingredients have been recently rarefied due to the destruction of the boring planet Earth.
*** This has been severely handicapped due to human weakness. Double the alcohol for the true recipe.