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The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

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The best place to get one, if you can afford it.

"After two of those babies, the dullest, most by-the-book Vogon will be up on the bar in stilettos, yodeling mountain shanties and swearing he's the king of the Gray Binding Fiefdoms of Saxaquine"
—On the drink's effects[src]

The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is an alcoholic beverage invented by ex-President of the Universe Zaphod Beeblebrox, considered by the Guide to be the "Best Drink in Existence"[1]. Its effects are similar to "having your brains smashed in by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick".

Beeblebrox advised that you should "never drink more than two Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters unless you are a thirty ton mega elephant with bronchial pneumonia".[1] However, Ford Prefect ignored this advice and consumed three Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters while at Milliways.[2]

Mixing InstructionsEdit

  • Take the juice from one bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit.
  • Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V — Oh, that Santraginean seawater! Oh, those Santraginean fish!
  • Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzene is lost).
  • Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
  • Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet and mystic.
  • Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.
  • Sprinkle Zamphuor.
  • Add an olive.
  • Drink... but... very carefully...

The North-American Fallacious Tribute**[3] Edit

  • Take 1/2 oz. juice from one bottle of Ole Smokey Tennessee Moonshine.
  • Allow 1/2 oz. of Arcturan Bombay Gin to melt into the mixture.
  • Over the back of a silver spoon pour 1/2 oz. of Creme de Menthe, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet and mystic.
  • Pour into it one measure of tonic water from the seas of Schweppers — Oh, that Schweppers seawater! Oh, those Schwepperian fish!
  • Add an olive. (and 1/4 tsp. of olive brine)
  • Allow four small cubes of dry ice to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
  • Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.( This is a Chili pepper that has been steeping in vodka for a duration no shorter than time required for a Vogon to recite all 173 verses of the poem "O You, Who Rake the Back Hairs. Silently". Also add 3/4 tsp of marinated vodka)
  • Sprinkle Zamphuor (Blue Gatorade Powder (this may be done from the start if one is coherent enough)).
  • Drink... but... very carefully...***

** All of these ingredients have been recently rarefied due to the destruction of the boring planet earth.

*** This has been severely handicapped due to human weakness. Double the alcohol for the true recipe.

Notes and referencesEdit

  1. 1.0 1.1 From Episode 1 of the television series, spoken by the Guide voiced by Peter Jones.
  2. From chapter 16 of the Douglas Adams novel The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.
  3. Some random naive human with foil wrapped around his head

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